I started smoking weed when I was a teenager but my senior year of high school I really got into it. I got a part time job at Rite Aid so I could buy all the weed I wanted and smoked everyday. I never thought it was holding me back because I was in the top of my class and got into a good college.

Flash forward twenty years and I feel like I never reached my potential in my career and in my relationships with friends, family, and community.

I stopped smoking 9 days ago because I have a job opportunity coming up that I really want.

It is incredible to me how much more clear headed and stable my mood has become since stopping. I can’t believe I made it this far in life being high out of my mind everyday. By this far I mean I have friends, a job, and a good family but not where I thought I would be when I younger.

I was using weed to block out some really negative emotions and as a result didn’t develop the way I should have.

I dont know if I will get this job or not (probably won’t as it is hyper competitive) but I do know that I am done sitting on my couch smoking weed every day. My partner (also a daily smoker who for some reason stopped when I did) have talked about keeping it to a special occasion every now and then but I feel like I am the kind of person that will just jump back into daily smoking again and I know now that it really did hold me back. Just wanted to write these thoughts down. I’m sure I’m not the only millennial approaching 40 with this experience.