I’m in California so a lot of dispensaries around here sell shrooms, a lot of them are amanita mushrooms not Psilocybin. But this one illegal dispo I go to has psilocybin mushrooms so I thought why not try. I’m 18 and I haven’t done shrooms since I was 13 and all the times I tripped as a kid I loved it. I bought 10gs of raw psilocybin hill billies. I’m a heavy smoker🍃so I’m pretty good on estimating grams. I took I’d say about 2.5 grams before getting in the shower to get ready for a long trippy night. (I used to take 5 grams when I’d do shrooms back when I was 13, and never had an ego death or anything) Within 10 minutes I look in the mirror and everything is fuzzy and my pupils are already dialated and this freaked me the fuck out. I went from excited about them to complete regret. I go to the bathroom to throw them up cuz it had only been about 15-20 mins by then, I ended up throwing up a lot and felt relief as I thought I wouldn’t trip hard. Oh was it wrong. As the next hour passes I’m extremely uncomfortable physically and mentally and I’m squirming around in my bed trying to not freak out, I really wanted to sprint outside but it was the middle of the night and I live with my parents so obviously I couldn’t do that but it felt like that would solve all the uncomfortable feelings I was having so I resisted and continued to try not to cry and freak out in my bedI’m pretty sure I experienced ego death this night because I comepletely forgot about my real self, all my thoughts weren’t mine. I literally shattered through reality and I felt it physically, I became atoms and was only a soul with no human experiences. I think I’ve learned a little bit from this trip, I definitely think I left the trip with still more to learn and I want to do them again but now I am so scared to feel the feelings I was having while I was waiting for the shroom to kick in, also I now have a different type of anxiety since this shroom trip its almost like a claustrophobic anxiety and I know it is from the shrooms because it gives me the same anxiety I had while waiting for the my peak night. Now even if a get a bad tsch literally just have a stomach Che and I can go into a little panic attack because it reminds me of the claustrophobic feeling I had on shrooms as if I’m stuck with a feeling I cannot get rid of. I’m not good at explaining things so hopefully this made sense I’m just curious what happened to me that night. Also I forgot to mention that the first half of the trip I still consider it a horrible experience but the second half of the trip after the peak I was enjoying the shrooms but now I just don’t know if having a bad first half of the trip is worth the good second half of the trip . Someone give me your thoughts