I can't stop doing it even when everything around me is crushing I fuck up everything for my high, I don't feel real anymore de realisation has hit me hard.

I’m sat here either in agony with k cramps or feeling like my bladder is being stabbed with knives. I know what everyone will say just stop doing it but I brought a massive amount and I still have loads left so with this right in front of me i know I won't be able to resist until it's gone.

I keep going round in circles getting clean then getting bad again it's like a never ending cycle. If I had the money I would submit myself to a proper rehab facility to get the help I know I need but living in the UK this is not possible as it's hard enough getting help under the NHS as it is.