Decided today was the day I just said fuck it and moved on. Hurts in a good way. Cutting off a part of me that honestly was just dead weight anyway, it didn’t provide me anything actually beneficial and I’ve known that since I began.

Only ever was addicted to weed but that’s negligible, since developed a lot of discipline with drugs. Had a bit of fun over the last few months tried DXM, Ald-52, shrooms, 3-HO-PCP, cocaine, ketamine. Some more regularly than others.

I was gonna go farther but I wanted a clear head before I kept going because I knew there was real danger and didn’t want to unknowingly fall into a trap. So I started 30 days of sobriety 7 days ago.

I’ve been way more productive (I was productive before but now it’s just crazy, and I’ve flown further into my passions and my relationships and my business venture.)

Today I just felt inspired to toss them. Get even the phantom monkey off my back. The possibility of any of the side effects is not anywhere near worth it. Not even the high is worth it. Why walk the line? To say I did? Big whoop. There are other things much more valuable to chase.

My body and brain work the way they do for a reason. Why did I feel the need to mess with that? Especially coke, only a couple times and maybe half a gram total. But listening to biology professors and people talk about the pitfalls of destroying your body and brain’s reward system. It’s a terrifying prospect, it should inspire some amount of thought. Not fear, but true contemplation.

I called myself a “psychonaut” saying I was exploring places other don’t! How exciting right? However after looking back it was all just another form of keeping myself from what I know I needed, to be actively chasing my purpose. I even had one, still do, same purpose as when I was doing drugs; for some reason I felt the need to dim it. Can’t say why.

I made sure to be safe and maintain very strict disciplines. I was doing the thing people try to do, I was very effectively walking the line, and it’s not even that thin (with proper care and caution.) BUT STILL why walk the line at all?

This is something of a goodbye post. It was fun, genuinely. But looking back the reason was not there. I am thankful for the lessons I’ve been taught through this experience and hope this resonates with someone, whether you walk the line or fell off to one side.

It just takes a decision. I can’t in my right mind keep doing drugs, it just doesn’t provide anything beneficial. I have to sacrifice the good for the greater. Family, purpose, pursuing others in attempts to help them, developing relationships. Drugs can’t provide any of that. And at the end of the day they all serve the same purpose to kill your motivations and desire to pursue more.

Have a great day, take care 🤙🏼