Hello, anyone here been in a similar spot?

Currently feel like I have an addiction that just isn't serious enough to get help. I abuse a lot of drugs but the main ones are Xanax and ketamine. I almost need to have a small amount of xanax every night to sleep, only 1/4 - 1/2 of a bar but its still near impossible to sleep without it, and I get a bit anxious. I don't do ketamine to often, maybe a gram 1-2 times a week. I physically cannot hold on to ketamine, the moment a bag enters my hands I'll be snorting that shit within a minute. Numerous times i've bought ketamine for all my friends as we have a festival the day after but I've sniffed everyones drugs before the festival.

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Went to an NA like meeting and I don't say this to be arrogant, but these people were obviously full blown addicts, smoking meth every day/no job/family/did desperate shit to get their fix. It felt like I was insulting them with how little my issues were.

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Also I don't even know if I want to quit drugs. Maybe its just the addiction talking but I feel like I don't even want a sober life, it just seems boring. Has anyone here successfully gotten sober? What helped? Was it worth it?