Someone commented on my meth poem that I wrote awhile ago and it’s got me thinking about stuff https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/s/WOmgMkPY7J

Reddit was the first place I ever went to talk about my addiction. All those years ago. Before anyone in real life knew, I posted in r/Opiatesrecovery that I was addicted to fentanyl and didn’t know how to get out of the darkness I had stumbled into and that I was scared.

I’m 8 months clean now. I haven’t been eight months clean since I was 20 years old. Never, since this first started.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of weird symptoms lately. It’s almost like im still on meth even though im not. I’m still not sleeping a lot. Still very reactive and volatile. Still having mood swings. Still feeling crazy, even though im 8 months clean.

I’m scared I did more permanent damage than I wanna admit. I’m scared I really messed up my brain, my dudes.

I’m feeling psycho lately and honestly just hearing from other addicts who understand is very comforting.

Idk why but im holding on. Im surviving despite everything. I don’t know why but I don’t wanna let this eight months go. I know it’ll feel good to burn on the way down to oblivion but I think I may want to risk tasting sunlight again.

Stay safe out there. Holiday season is fucking rough.