I have tripped on mushrooms probably close to 50 times at this point, but last night was something unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I didn’t take an abnormally large dose, only 3 grams of some golden teachers. It felt almost a little weak, but at about 2 hours in I started tripping so much harder.

I was in my room and I laid down in bed and put my head in my pillow, I was just looking at the visuals behind my eyes when they started changing. It went from cool meaningless patterns to vivid depictions of all the fucked up things I’ve gone through in my life. At the same time I started having this internal dialogue between my thoughts and this other voice that was in my head. It sounded different than my thoughts and would respond with its own original answers. I would have to examine each image that appeared in my head and recognize how it connected to events from my life and then me and the voice would have a conversation about it. It gave me closure on several things from my past as well as told me things about people I know in real life currently.

It told me one of my friends was not someone I should trust. At this point I was getting freaked out so I decided to get up and open my eyes. I wanted to listen to music and calm down but the voice told me not to.

I grabbed my phone anyways and checked the time, it had been about an hour and a half since I had put my head down. I went to open my phone and the voice got angry with me. My visuals started becoming the most horrible things I can imagine. I closed my eyes and tried to apologize but all I saw were bloody skulls and death. It looked like what someone who has never tripped before would expect a bad trip to look like. I opened my eyes again and saw out of the corner of my eye something quickly dart under my bed. I sat there freaking out for a very short time before I heard scratching from under my bed (I had never had auditory hallucinations this intense before). At this point I thought a person was under my bed. I finally worked up the courage to look after who knows how long of sitting absolutely still, freaking tf out, just to see nothing but a pair of shoes.

At this point I just wanted to smoke a cig and calm down but I had been crying while talking with the voice and my nose was stuffed up. I blew out the snot, but it just kept coming. I had to blow my nose probably 5 or 6 times before I was able to unclog it. While doing this I felt my nose, I felt the little cartilage or bone (not sure which) piece between my nostrils and it felt like it was disconnected from the rest of my face. I checked in the mirror probably five or 6 times, and every time time my nose would look fucked up in the exact same way.

I then felt the piece again and almost passed out. I then started dripping in sweat before collapsing backwards onto my bed. I couldn’t breathe and I started seeing little black spots on my vision. My head had this feeling that I can only describe as like the most intense nicotine buzz you could ever imagine in your life minus any pleasure. Like if a second grader hit a box mod. But this feeling lasted for about 5 mins before I just got incredibly tired. I was barely able to keep my eyes open and I was struggling to even do that. I couldn’t get out of bed or say a word. I fully believed I was dying.

After about 10 mins of fighting off the sudden and extreme tiredness I managed to grab my phone and call my mom. It was 2:00 in the morning and she was asleep in the other room. She woke up and ran to my room and immediately asked if I was on drugs, I said yes and that I think I’m dying. She asked what drugs and I didn’t want to say because I knew if I told her it was shrooms, she would immediately assume I was just having a bad trip. But I admitted it anyways and exactly that happened. She checked my nose out about 5 or 6 times at my request and every time told me it was normal.

Suddenly, I stopped sweating and my entire body felt ice cold. I wrapped up in blankets but it persisted for about 5-10 minutes. My chest then started hurting really bad and I looked down and it appeared to have a 1-2 inch indentation between my pecs. I could feel it with my hand it felt like it was sunken but I asked my mom and she said it looked fine to her. I eventually managed to fall asleep at around 4:00 am, about 7 hours after I took them.

I truly thought I was going to die, and that my parents were going to find me the next morning dead in my bedroom. I also still don’t know what to make about what the voice told me.