Here's what I wrote right after, no changes except for names for the obvious reasons.

I found my conscience, or was it my guardian angel? I don't know

She was a small girl with purple hair and large eyes. I was at the Smith's house, but -unrelated friend- was there as well, like he belonged. I met her upstairs, in the bedroom talking to some friends. She was a teenager then, and she felt like home or belonging. She was almost the height of -best friend- then.

We talked for a while, then I went downstairs and saw a baby, who started to cry and point to the shut bathroom door, then it soiled itself. I told -Friend's mom-, she scurried off with the baby to clean him off and asked that I clean the floor, so I was working on that when -my sister- followed by -unrelated friend- came in and said Dad was here to pick me up. I went to the entryway and said hi, he pointed to my stuff and said "Hurry up let's go!" I said "calm the ef down, give me a sec." and he lost it and started storming inside, drunk. "Calm the fuck down? I want more wine!" -Friend's mom- started yelling at him and told him to get out or she'd call the police, and I just ran.

It was all I could do. It had all been so warm and cozy and homelike then it stopped. I sprinted outside into the snow an crashed facedown in the snow crying.

A few strangers sledded or snowboarded by, I think. I heard a conversation in the distance "Madjawa just can't do these things on his own." I sat up and I saw her again, standing there with her purple hair down and her face red from crying. I walked to her and did the only thing I could do, hugged her and kept crying. She turned back into a small girl and I walked back to the house when it hit me. She's my sense of consciousness, at least I think so. I stood in the door and she grew to -best friends- size again,

'I like this height.' I said, burying her face in my shoulder' 'Me too' she whispered

I held her closely and asked "now that I've found you again... What do I do?" She looked at me for a moment and said 'I don't know, but I'm always here."

And I woke up.

So I've no idea what to really think about it. It was weird to say the least and honestly the more I read it over the less I feel like posting it as it just seems ridiculous, but at the time when I woke up it felt really important. shrug