I wake up early in the AM. Watch some DAC. This roaming Monkey King thing looks unstoppable. I feel inspired. Finally have a new hero to add to the viable support options. I boot up DotA, ignore the Xbox VR warning. I don't know or care what that means. I click "PLAY DOTA" and like a Pavlovian dog, I begin to salivate. Imagining all the amazing things that I've seen that I'm waiting to try. Today is the day I will make it out of 3k.

Draft begins. I do not attempt to ban, I do not mark my lane or ready my hero. I wait. Pretend to be AFK. Because guaranteed my entire team will pick cores and if I'm going to solo support, you best believe I want to see as much of the enemy draft as possible, so I can get the best support possible. Like clockwoerk, my team pick 4 cores. I pick support Monkey King. All according to keikaku.

Game loads. I buy wards, courier, OoV and a salve. The horn blows. My heart races. I transform into tree, branch, tp, tree, salve, tree and then then finally a courier. And scout the enemy items. I am alone. I will not get a kill. But I am Monkey King and like a ninja, I spy the enemy. I ping their items.

The enemy go to lane. I place 1 ward between their tier 2 and tier 3 towers. I am ready. I sap xp from their jungler and I buy tp. I spot the white dot on the minimap. I think to myself "wards win games". I transform into tree, branch, tp, tree, salve, tree and then then finally a courier. I run to mid. Snipe the courier. Leap into tree. I am a ninja. I wait in the trees for enemy mid to go low ground. I leap into action... And feed a kill to the enemy mid.

Never mind. My respawn timer is short. I buy Windlace and smoke and to to safelane. And lurk in the trees. Waiting. My carry screams at me to leave lane, I am taking his XP. I leave. it's ok I tell myself. I go to grab bounty rune. And my mid rage pings me. He needs the gold he says. O...K...

"Up courier!" my offlaner shouts. I calmly explain that I only have 60 gold. He rage pings me. "It's OK" I try to reassure myself. I buy a ward and ask my jungle enigma to up courier, I can't afford it. He says nothing.

It is 10 minutes in. I am level 3. I have brown boots, windlace and smoke. I am not safe anywhere on the map and not wanted in any lane. My mid buys Tome of Knowledge... "It might still be OK" I tell myself. I am Mokey King. A ninja and I will ward the shit out of this game.

25 minutes I read the telltale -25MMR. This is not OK! I close DotA. Grab a coffee. I watch youtube highlights of DotA. I feel inspired. I boot up DotA...