I was happily strolling through our neighborhood yesterday when I spotted a dog nutter a little ways ahead of me, complete with giant hellhound. No biggie…just gonna keep my distance, yes?? We were passing in front of the elementary school, when sniffy sniffy sniffy, the shitbeast decided it needed to shit. So she stopped to let it do it’s business.

In the SCHOOL YARD.

Which is carpeted in ASTROTURF.

Y’all, really! That idiot nutter stood there & let her huge-ass dog defecate in the one small area in front of the school where children are allowed to hang out. To make matters worse, she didn’t have a baggie out or anything. So I sat down on the edge of the raised flowerbed next to where they were standing, acting like I was looking something up on my phone (I was…the gawtdamn camera).

When the dog finally finished passing his human leg-sized logs, she made like she was going to just absentmindedly wander off & leave the mess there!!! “Ahem,” I cleared my throat.

“Huh?? Oh.” She looked up & saw me, then started patting her pockets for a plastic baggie, which she eventually found in her purse. Had she not located one, I’d have called my kiddo to bring her some, as I live just a half-block away.

Can y’all imagine the scenario tomorrow morning, though, had I not been there to hold her accountable? It’s bad enough there’s dog pee, plus poop residue, in said area. Hookworm fuel, as it were. But Little Jimmy & Baybay NayNay would’ve been playing like little children are wont to do, rolling around on the cushy synthetic lawn, then…SQUEESH.

I want to puke & cry, simply thinking about it! Gross.