Her mother moved in about 3 months ago, and we kind of accepted that our sex drive would plummet. It didn't. At all. Or we're too kinky to let it stop us, or... I don't know.

She's got dementia, but right now it's pretty mild. She's a great lady, lots of fun, but we need to keep an eye on her. She's definitely trying to keep an eye on us. At first it was funny. Now...

We reached a breaking point last week when we were almost walked in on three times in one day. It's like she's got some kind of radar that detects the minute we're starting to get frisky. It doesn't help that neither of us are quiet, but we're honestly not even getting to the loud parts of the encounter. It's like the minute my cock is inside her, mom makes her presence known and we barely have time to "Get proper". My sister stopped by and we tried for the teenage car-sex (and were really into it), and within minutes of stopping anywhere, someone else pulled close enough that we weren't comfortable with it (Consent's a big thing for us).

We're very open sexually, and over the weekend she stopped off at a friend's house for coffee, and was treated to some mind-blowing oral by her friends (They're essentially family, and know that we're kinky. Permission was given a LONG time ago). Last night we almost got walked in on again, and I've been given a hall pass.

My criteria:
Sane, safe, and consensual, above all else. That does mean that if you want to go get tested together, I'm all in (and that's really attractive to me)
No drama. I'll let you know waaay in advance if you're making me uncomfortable. Which leads me to:
Honesty. Just tell me the truth. If you're in a life circumstance where you are living with a dead bedroom, lets talk about it. I've been there, and I've helped many folks with this (I've been in medicine most of my life, including a bunch of deployments). Also, there's not a lot that you can say to me that's going to make me stop talking to you, right then and there. I'm much more likely to say "Hey, let's talk about that".
All women start at "Beautiful", but it is your personality that is going to hook me. If your beauty is only skin deep, please move on. And again, be honest about yourself. I'm certainly going to be.
My wife is going to know. Some people get really upset by this. See the drama clause above. We're happy not sharing names or pictures. You may not get to meet her. But she is going to know.
Please include your favorite color in your subject line to let me know you read this far.
I have a really awesome life, and I'm not looking to change yours. Please don't try to change mine. Granted, I'm pretty frustrated, sexually, right now, and that's why I'm creating a post to try to have some fun.
Please no tobacco smokers
I like kinky women/girls

About me:
I'm 6-foot even white guy, got the dad-bod for Christmas/Thanksgiving, but I'm told I probably don't even need to mention that, unless my clothes come off. Drug, Disease Free (but fine if you 420 it up). I can't host, see above, but if we hit it off, I'm more than happy to talk about hotels, hikes, cars, even an overnight occasionally. I really value a sense of humor (I can have a pretty dark humor, due to my work life), creativity, and an keen wit. I'm definitely kinky, open-minded, and love trying new things. I really like fulfilling my partners fantasies, and spending a couple of hours thinking/texting about planning what I'm going to be doing to them would definitely be a fun addition. I do not give my phone number out to people I have not physically met. If this is a deal breaker, please skip me.

Major bonus points if you're in a similar situation, as it means you'll understand the lifestyle and constraints that we're under.