This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
My ex makes my life miserable at every turn. We have a special needs son so I feel the short time I get with him is spent managing his behaviors and giving her reprieve so she can date rather than building our own bond. I don't think she has restraint to say degradating things in front of him when I'm not around.
Recently through social media I found out she's now seeing someone for a little while. This person has children and it explains why she's been making everything so difficult on me the past few months.
She asked me for certain Christmas ornaments just a couple days ago.
I worry with her attitude towards me and lack of restraint that my son is easily brainwashed. I see it in things she says and recently he's been saying things like:
"Your my dad" - I can't tell if he is declaring that or asking me.
Or
When she is around he calls me by my first name instead of Dad.
I'm worried I'm losing him, he's only 4 and I'm so upset. I think the intent behind asking for the ornaments is because she is planning to spend some time over Christmas with him and this new person.
It just really hurts.
His birthday was this week and I can't stop thinking now that shes having a "family birthday" with someone else.
Kills my soul. There is SO much more but just putting the general idea out there.
I get people move on but we just finalized in March and it really kills me as a 4 yr old that my son is faced with this confusion. His mother and I don't get along for a million reasons and I fear just seeing her laugh and carry on with someone else will make him favor this person over me.
Anyone been through it? Any advice?
It basically seems like the only response is "thats the brakes bro nothing you can do. Watch your kid get brainwashed and get planted into a new family...."
I'm just here for support. No I don't love her at all so that's not why I'm hurt. I think she is spiteful and vindictive and that is one of the motivations she is working from.
So as a dad and stepdad, I feel you. During the final days of my divorce when it was finally out that my ex was cheating. The first thing she told our kids was that they were to start addressing her new fiancé as dad. They refused and it was a major point of contention. Eventually she walked away.
As a stepdad to girls that came from an abusive father. I have never once required that they call me dad. As someone who has put more time in than their own father it’s still not something I push them to do. They introduce me as their dad and they don’t correct people if they say you look just like your dad. Their biological dad reminds them constantly that I’m not their dad and that they can’t call us both dad. He’s made it clear to them they don’t love him if they call me dad.
I don’t push the issue with them. For my kids and my stepkids it’s not about the title I get. It’s time spent and knowing I did my best for them. They all address each other as sisters and that’s more important. They do all call my wife mom.
No matter what your ex does or says outside of your house you are still dad. She can never change that. I know it’s hard but don’t let her get to you. Just do the best for your kid to make sure he has a great life. He’s always going to know in his heart who his dad is.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 4 months ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/DivorcedDad...