I’m still new to all of this, so I’m hoping for some perspective. Also, this is my first ever Reddit post, so sorry I’m advance for any errors.

My stbxh and I have 50/50 custody of our 9yo daughter, per the draft decree. For some background, after moving out of the marital home, so we could put it on the market empty, I’ve been living too far away to do week day custody. For the past two and a half months, he’s had her Monday to Thursday and I have her after school ends on Friday until Sunday evening. Starting Monday, I’m moving back to the same town and we will start the 50/50 custody properly.

My issue is that our decree states that for even numbered years, he’ll have her for Thanksgiving and I’ll have her for Christmas. However, when I picked her up this weekend, we started talking about what custody would look like soon and she told me she thought she would be with my ex on Christmas. She said that he told her that.

I’m so mad. I’m the only one during our marriage that made any effort to make Christmas magical for her - from activities, decorating, buying gifts. All I want to do is put my foot down and say she’s going to be with me, but I don’t want to let her down if she’s expecting to wake up at his house Christmas Day.

He’s been exceptionally nasty to me since I told him I wanted to divorce. His lawyer told him to stop with the threats and intimidation, and he has. In fact, I thought we were getting to a place where we could be amicable, but now he’s gone and done this. I know it’s on purpose because we’ve already discussed Thanksgiving and it being his year to have her.