It’s late and I’m still awake wrestling with the demons that come with this.

I wrote this down. And I’m not sure what it is, but I just needed to get it out there. To somebody….

I will do my best to not live in the past, as it can only cause more hurt. I will not live in the future as it’s uncertainty can lead to anxiety. I will live in the present and know all the harm done from my actions, can be undone as it relates to my children. Kids adapt quickly and are more resilient than us. They have the luxury of short memories and have capacity to heal.

If I need to removed from the home in order to give our children an opportunity at being happy by not exposing them to a negative home environment as a result of our tensions, that will be my motivation.

I cannot undo my past wrongs, but I can give all of you a path forward. I will forever regret us not being a family again. I’m not certain that pain will ever go away. I will be sorry for the rest of my life knowing my actions led to you changing how you see/saw me.

I just want us all to be happy. To be whole. I will use my time from here on to facilitate the easiest path forward so we can all begin to heal and be happy.