Court date today. It’s over.

A few things I’ve learned… maybe it will help someone else:

1) Amicable, collaborative divorces are few and far between. Yes, I know your situation is different. Mine was too. You cannot fathom how he/she would possibly hurt you so deeply. But guess what? It happens all the time. I still can’t believe what she did. How Could She? Well, she did.

2) Get a family lawyer. Now. Don’t wait. Yes, you. Call one today. Start the process. I don’t care that you think you can work it out. The only way to truly protect yourself is having counsel. I wish I had talked to a lawyer months and months (years?) before I did. Please listen to me.

3) The friends you can lean on when you’re down and depressed are so incredibly valuable. Do everything you can to form deeper relationships with these people in your life.

4) You absolutely CAN shield your kids from any fighting or bickering— this is a choice. Make the right choice.

5) This will all take waaaaaaay longer than you think it should. It’s ridiculous. Things that could be done in 2-3 days might take months. It’s infuriating.

6) Your lawyer has a reputation in their industry and that can influence how they guide you. Advocate for yourself, especially on the items that really matter.

7) Custody issues matter more than money. Full stop.

8) You can do this. I know it’s hard. It’s very, very hard. The hardest thing you will likely ever have to face.

9) However, please remember that what happened is only 50% your fault. Regardless of the circumstances. It takes two to marry, and it takes two for the marriage to break down.

10) Repeat after me: It’s the divorce you don’t want, but it’s the divorce that you need. It’s the divorce you don’t want, but it’s the divorce that you need. It’s the divorce you don’t want, but it’s the divorce that you need.

☮️❤️🤗