Wasn't sure what to flair.

For context, she initiated a break on September 26. Midway through October she moved in with her sister. Mainly nc unless it was about the girls(8&4). I failed at this. I was trash at keeping my emotions in check.

She has been pretty mean to me which is understandable, and has set boundaries that I try not to cross. So far I just try to be helpful.

I have been working on myself and being a better dad, which made her angry because I didn't try when we were together. But, similar to many other posts, I didn't know of the "I've checked out emotionally and am just here for the kids or until you figure it out" chapter. I wish I had known it would be divorce. But like many, I didn't think I would ever lose her.

The other day she said something to me and a switch flipped in my head. I didn't feel the emotions as strongly. I didn't wish we were together after talking with her. I didn't think of the situation as a failure, but a learning experience. I didn't have a relapse and cry it out while looking at old pictures lol.

I sucked at being a husband. I'm getting better. I hope she is healing as well. Tbh, if there is ever a chance for us in the future I will show her how much I've changed and how awesome of a dad she knew I could be. Until then. Here's hoping we have a painless divorce when the time comes. If you ever see this, I do still have a love for you and hope you can forgive me one day. And to anyway going through it, it's ok. It gets better with time. Just keeping grinding.