So here's where I'm at, I've been separated for almost 5 years (have 3 kids whom are mainly with me). Combination of my ex completely going to crap, her needing to stay on my insurance, two lawyers dying and god knows what else.. And multiple long term hospitalizations... In the past year I've been able to get the divorce moving along (albeit slowly, as she's still trying to drag it out)

In any case I started seeing a woman about a month ago. Whom just separated from her husband of almost 20 years (about 6 months ago). I do like her, she's over the moon on me.. (Not sure if it's mutual, but I've become super cautious.. and not sure if that's holding me back)

And from my perspective their are a few red flags, in being with her long term.. but their nothing to do with her ex. (And it may be I just don't know her enough yet)

Any case every so often, I may say something or send her something that's funny whatever.. And more then once, whatever instagram or whatever in the txt or in some barely audible part it relates to a couple that are ex's.

The latest one it's a xmas gift a lady gave to a guy (whom apparently are ex's) it's said quickly in the vid.. And it's some stupid underwear with the lady hugging where his privates would be.. I didn't hear it, as I had the audio down.

My gf says this is a red flag? I'm pondering on now if for the rest of my life I have to filter every and anything that has ex, and be super alert about mentioning/or anything that may reference it from ever being mentioned to this gf, or any one else I date?

I can honestly say I'd have sent it, if I'd never been married. I never ever would go back to my ex, and honestly would leave the country first, and my kids would disown me. (I can't say the same for her)

But meanwhile her and her gf are bringing up things as red flags.. I mean yes, once something came up, as they'd heard my daughter liked to bake. And I said something like I taught her, her mother can't bake and could barely cook (FYI truth, my kids will attest to it) I probably could have said it better. But I don't know if that's a red flag, as I wasn't purposely putting my ex down, it's reality, heck she even says it.

I do know and my gf has even said that her gf is a bit overprotective. And seems to be wanting to push her away from any relationships, and to essentially keep her dependent on her.

I'm just wondering if I should keep apologizing for their interpretation of what is said. Or should I just be like, "I didn't realize when I separated and soon will be divorced, that I had to monitor everything that goes in/out for any reference to an ex, or my actual ex. I am just a guy trying to live life, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about what every interpretation of something is. I date as if I was never married, if something comes up in conversation I share the facts I know and yes that may include my ex. "

I dunno...