I need to vent... I dont know what to do. Part of myself is content but the other part is so depressed and lonely. A year ago my ex wife decided to move on and seperate from me. Eventually we decided to divorce. She hasn't signed the paperwork yet and I don't know if she's going to. I'm doing everything possible to keep my mind active and off her. Working, doing house work, working out and taking the boys out as much as possible. It helps and I'm glad I have my boys... but there are times where I'm just at home wanting her sitting next to me... laughing, smiling and enjoying each other's company.

The divorce turned ugly and she has stated she "hates me." I don't hate her in the least bit. In matter of fact I still love this women even through all the stuff she has put me through. I dont want to speak ill of her, but she does have demons she needs to work through. I want to help her but its not my place anymore. She looks happy in her pictures she post. I'm not into FB anymore but when I notice something I do peak (even though I know I shouldn't). It was a picture of her sitting on the side of a mountain top with her back turned against the camera alone. And her new cover pic is her and her daughter smiling... I miss them so much. But I need to stay quiet.

I feel helpless. I have accepted that it's over. But a part of me really wishes one day she will comeback. Even if my friends and family don't approve. I just need some comfort. I'm so depressed and want to curl into a ball and hoping these feelings go away.