Hey everyone... I have been lurking here for awhile. I dont exactly know what to put so ill just let my fingers walk..

Im 28 years old, I have been married to my wife (32) for 7 years. We have 3 kids. My oldest is 8 years old now (just turned 8 today). Shes my step daughter but I love her very much. My 3 year old who is mine and a 1 year old. We moved to a new state to start new, and because I got a decent job here. It was supposed to be a start over and new life with the people I love.

I am currently going through a divorce right now. Im depressed always down and feel so lonely. My soon to be Ex wife lives with some mutual friends and renting 2 rooms for her and our kids when she sees them. She has been out of the house for about 5 months. I miss her so much and I wish I could tell her that... She told me I had a problem and recommended that I get help. I never really saw it as a problem till I got the call while I was out of state. She said, "I cant do this anymore. I'm going to separate from you because I cant take the heartbreak anymore."

While I was with her, I did a lot of virtual stuff with other women. It wasn't because I was attracted to them or anything.... It was because I could see something new. I did have affairs with her. There is no excuse for my actions and I knew it was wrong during the time. I would always tell her I would change. She would give me another shot and I would betray that trust... Im not proud of what I have done.

Even when she told me that I needed help, I thought I could do it myself. Albert Einstein said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different results." I guess that made me insane at the time. After that heart wrenching call, I broke down in my room asking myself "How I could let this happen? Why didn't I just listen?"

This was a realization that I truly needed because I would be doing the same thing again if she took me back. I started to think "How can I get my wife back?" I looked up videos, googled strategies, called and got a psychiatrist, talked to a Chaplin, called around and got a personal coach even joined a Sex addicts anonymous group. I did a lot of research and decided to choose on youtube channels such Marriage helper and Geoffrey Setiawan. I also bought the "How to save your marriage course" by marriage helper because I believe they can provide me the best chance of getting my wife back. This is also with SAA, my psychiatrist and the coaching I get.

I really would like to have another shot with my wife. I truly do love this women. I don't have many friends where I am so I cant vent to anyone. I'm so hurt right now and I want to cry all the time. I try forgive myself about what I did in the past but its what lead to my divorce. I wish she could see the change I am trying to do. I really want to save my marriage and reconcile with her... If anyone has any advise I would love to hear it.