I feel like I'm in an unmanageable position. I'm at a point where I no longer want to be in my house. I work late, I leave for work early, I do very little around the house because I have nothing emotionally invested. I'm done, I want her to stop trying. She doesn't, because she doesn't have a choice.

We have a hobby farm, everything on it is her dream and her idea. For a while I was okay with working on it trying to make it better, but it's never enough. Always more money going into it, always brushing off my dreams and ambitions because "Well this needs to happen now because [reason]." This has been a theme for our whole relationship where she gets what she wants and placated me with small stuff to keep me happy day-to-day. We've been together for 15 years, married for 5.

Now I don't want to help other than normal maintenance (mowing, trimming, fixing fences, etc...) and I hate listening to her plans for the future. We've been in couples counseling and I've had individual counseling as well and it's not helping.

Where I am stuck is that she can't afford the farm without me (she is on disability) and that's the one thing that makes her happy. I can't leave because I would get bent over on alimony and wouldn't be able to afford a place by myself either.

Its gotten me so goddamn depressed I just sit in my car and cry...