My stbx husband(26) and I(25/m) separated in the beginning of July, been together 4 years, but only started living completely separately last week. He had been gone 2-3 times a week prior to that.

Separated because of our lives going on different directions. I want stability, a kid before 30, and monogamy. He wants freedom, traveling everywhere, and polyamory.

I have a new apartment and am trying to be active with friends but very few people get back to me. I've checked meetups but things I'm interested in don't seem to meet up in my area often.

I am on disability so I don't have a job I go to that helps break the monotony or extra money. The empty bed hurts the most. We were very affectionate and cuddly and now it's just me.

From the outside it looks like he's getting on well. He has fun with the people they're living with and has a new sexual partner.

I want to get into things I enjoy that I can do at home but am stuck until next month's payment comes through. Moving was more expensive than I imagined.

I know eventually it'll get easier but I'm just crying randomly and finding it hard to believe it will get easier.