We're separating because my husband (25m) and I (27f) thinks its best to live apart because we've been so miserable living together. we've been together 9 years, married three.

i've always had a problem losing my temper. he would ask me to get control over it. i tried of course and couldn't. went to a shitty therapist and felt like i just had to live with it and it would be ok if i let it happen very infrequently. 4 months ago he reached a breaking point and had it. so i found a couples counselor.

since then everything has gotten worse. everything has came to the surface. she validated his feelings of trauma (linking back to his fathers verbal abuse) and i have acknowledged and taken responsibility for my temper. i got my own therapist and have seen improvements. even he admitted to progress. recently i lost it again- started calling him names. and then that was it. we are now living separately.

im having a hard time with this because i dont know what this means. what are the goals? i dont see how this is helping our marriage. why cant we just work through this? im doing what i can to get better and he just seems like he doesn't want to work with me anymore. its been a few weeks now of living apart but im getting impatient. and very depressed. i dont want to live this way anymore and feel like the only other option is divorce. i dont feel loved or respected or wanted. i dont know what to do. please help me.