I literally feel like I’m drowning and people are just standing around pretending they don’t see me out here struggling to stay alive.

This divorce process has brought out some dark thoughts and it scares me. I have no desire to act on them but I just had a few moments where I felt like I just want to be taken out of my misery. The pain I feel is so intense sometimes and idk how much more I can take. 🥹

My kids are literally the only thing going. I would never leave them by choice. I’m just struggling and feel like maybe I don’t deserve to be loved the way I desire.

I feel so broken. So unloveable. So… invisible.

Doesn’t seem like anyone has any interest in me or even wants to talk, meanwhile my ex is getting a passport and doing who knows what with another woman. It’s killing me that it’s so easy for him to move on yet I can’t even find anyone to talk to that I’m even remotely attracted to.

I just want to move forward, but I’ve been so stuck in the past and the hits just keep coming. I feel like I don’t have any time to catch my breath.

There was a moment earlier when I felt the lowest I’ve felt in a long time. My heart hurts so deeply and I just want the pain to stop.

There’s this intense desire for someone to love me authentically, to help me forget my heart was ever broken.

But at the same time, I want to heal from this so I don’t bring that baggage into the next relationship.

So I’m not actively looking for anyone else.

It’s just really confusing. Wanting to be loved and held while your heart is shattering. But knowing the only person that will lift you up is yourself.

No one is coming to save me. Honestly don’t want to be saved. I just want someone to be there to grab my hand, while I try to save my self.

I’m being very picky about who I open my energy up to, and I have self respect now and I refuse to settle again. I’ll be alone for the rest of my life before I settle again.

The pain I feel is just so intense.

I don’t know how to let go. I just want to rip the bandaid off instead of this torture I’m experiencing.