49m going through divorce. I have read and watched hours of materials about NPD, and believe my wife 50f is somewhere on this spectrum. Just had our 10th anniversary and been together 14 years. I haven't been able to get out of bed for a week.

This is both of our 2d marriages. She is an insurance agent and I was a practicing attorney when we met. Now I am unemployed and broke and broken.

All the signs are there. The love bombing was pretty immediate, she had a boyfriend when we started talking and I had to slow her down because she was starting to take the conversation to sexual things that I knew would diminish my long term ability to trust if I let it continue. As soon as she broke up with her boyfriend we were together and it was so dreamy. My 1st marriage was cold and I really wanted a honest relationship so I began discussing swinging and other sex related issues early on and she was receptive to try.

Short story is she carried on affairs throughout our entire relationship, lied constantly, and never really tried to meet my sexual desires despite me allowing every one of hers to be fulfilled. Found out last night, or I guess had confirmed, that she fucked one of her playmates behind my back and really has no remorse. My head is spinning and I guess the point is I keep going back to her for something but I can't figure out why. She hurts me more every time. I feel pathetic.

Sorry for the rambling format, there's so many details to share but I just don't have the energy to organize my thoughts right now. Don't know what I need to hear or what will help, hoping someone out there does and will share. Thank you.