Hello, I honestly never thought I would be in this subreddit. However, this is something I have ruminated on for months, and I finally said it out loud to someone else this week. Doing this made it all so much more real. I (27F) have been married to my husband (29M) for 2.5 years, together about 5. We have been through hell and back together, and even now I do still love and care for him.

However, I feel stuck. Throughout our relationship, I have been the one putting in 90% of the effort, the one responsible for moving us forward, and the one responsible for anything financial or otherwise. Beyond this, I feel as though I am still just not understood or appreciated by my husband, which has led me to slack on some of my usual life tasks. For our entire relationship, I have been the one motivating him to change and grow. From finally addressing his anger issues to becoming more emotionally aware. I feel as though I deserve effort. To be doted on like I have done for him for years. Looking back, I find very few times where I was not the one planning everything, from small things like what to do for dinner every night to our wedding and every vacation. Along with this, I have found I bend and compromise constantly. I feel as though I have just given up on my dreams and idea of what my life should look like in order to give him the life he wants.

Dont get me wrong, he works hard and pays his part of our life. He checks in on me. But I am beginning to wonder if love is enough. I have seriously been contemplating asking him about separating or bringing up the fact I have thought about it. But I am also so scared of making the wrong decision. I see three paths ahead of me; 1. I tell him where my mind is and we work on our relationship, 2. I tell him where my mind is and I decide I dont have the heart to continue waiting for what I deserve and we separate, or 3. I say nothing and remain in a life I never wanted for myself for his sake. I just am grappling with this heavily, scared of imploding my life only to be wrong.