I was thinking something over the weekend that I’m hoping will be helpful to share for those of you who are considering getting divorced.

Some of you are truly not sure. Some of you know what they need to do but just can’t seem to make it happen.

I thought I wasn’t sure for so many years but deep down I always knew. She is an amazing person but she was never my person and many years and 2 kids later I ended up being unfair to both her and myself for staying in the marriage for as long as I did. The point I’m trying to make is for those who truly know but who are afraid to jump I’m telling you that once you jump, once you get to the other side, once you cross the rubicon you’ll see everything differently. Your perspective will change. On life. On all of it. There’s no other way to describe it other than when you’re there you’ll get it.

This isn’t to say that divorce isn’t hard. It’s fucking super hard. Even when it’s easy, and for me it’s been amazingly easy, it’s still hard. Really hard. So much crying. But when you’re on the other side you’ll think, why the hell did I wait as long as I did? Yes, in many ways life is harder now but at least I can truly start living in a way that serves me. Once the shackles are off I can be the person I really want to be. I can start walking the path. You can only know this once you cross.

There is a song by Silversun Pickups called “Kissing Families” which is epic but a line there: kept moving forwards on paths sideways. You think you’re moving now and trying to grow but you can’t. Not until you cross the rubicon.

This is just my experience but I’ve found it to be true for others as well. Divorce is fucking hard. But if you know it’s the right thing to do then there’s no more time to waste.