So here we are two months into separation and cohabitating as we navigate the process. My STBXW will be served sometime around July 20th.

What an emotional rollercoaster. Some moments I’m happy and ecstatic planning out the future. Other moments I’m terrified, lonely, and scared for what may come. I have a great set of friends and people who love me, so that’s been really helpful.

I think my STBXW is playing mind games with me while we cohabitate. Walking around half naked, boobs falling out of her robe, purposely flashing her phone as some dude texts her. I think it’s all in an attempt to trigger me to react and it’s really messing with me.

As an example:

Last Sunday around noon she comes over to me and says, “my friend is in town at the shooting range, I think I’m going to go see him.” She triggered me and I said, “you wouldn’t even go to the shooting range with me.” A conversation ensued and she left. I didn’t want to sit around by myself, so I went and watched a movie and then came home and made dinner plans. As I’m getting ready to head out for dinner plans, STBXW comes home and asks me what I want for dinner. I tell her I’m going out with a bunch of friends. Her response was, “I came home by dinner time by design to have dinner with you. It’s clear you don’t want to spend time with me.”

I’m worried about her future and her persona. I’m worried about her as a person. I know I shouldn’t give a crap anymore and she is who she is and nothing is going to change that.

This is hard. I’ve been through some hard and incredibly stressful events time lines in my life, but nothing prepared me for the emotional roller coaster this divorce process is.

Edit: added a short glimpse