So I’ve been going through it, I’ve been having a really rough time mental health wise, since the holidays, I’ve been in a downward spiral, i’ve gone from drinking a 30 pack a day a year ago to not even drinking a 30 pack week I’ve gone from pushing almost 300 pounds to now pushing 2: gone from pushing almost 300 pounds to now pushing 225 in the other direction. In a week I’ll be 42 October was supposed to be our 10 year anniversary. We have an eight year old daughter who is literally the only reason I keep breathing but I don’t know if that’s enough anymore. I guess I was fooling myself thinking that if I keep on changing if I keep on trying to be a better person, if I get my degree if I get a job if I get into shape if I quit drinking if only I could be a better husband and a better father maybe she’d love me but today I was breaking down and she said that she can’t say that she loves me