A little background of my personal shit show.

Married 7 years. Two small kids. I was the primary parent and supported her in her career.

Currently separated for over a year and a half (February of 2022) and had the divorce conversation finally a year ago (September 2022).

Turns out that she was having an affair and is currently with the affair partner.

... and onto the healing.

What I have learned is that one must take responsibility for what happened. Not blame. Not whine. Not pine.

But look at all the red flags you ignored to be loved. Look at all the shit you accepted. See how you are responsible for the choices that got you into this mess.

I'm not saying you didn't have reasons. I was lied to. Manipulated. Gas lighted, etc. But that doesn't mean that I didn't have a lot of clarity about the situation I was in. I just felt unable to change. I just wanted to be loved and be happy. I don't want to split up my family.

And so I accepted.

And now I need to accept my short comings. I'm not running myself down. I'm a good person. I'm being a bomb-ass dad. I'm generous and kind. I give to others freely.

But I ignored what I saw. And on some level, I guess I though I couldn't find someone perfect for me, and so I accepted less.

And now we move to forgiveness. Not of your ex. Anything outside yourself you cannot control. And do not need to control.

You must forgive yourself.

You take responsibility. And then you forgive. Be kind to yourself. You did the best you could at the time. But you did not do what is best for you.

But the future is now. You're free to make better choices. For you. For your children.

Life's lessons don't come cheap. I had to spend years to understand this.

Being happy is a strange thing. It glosses over an that has before it. Ask the hurts. All the suffering. It's unimportant when you're happy. All you see is the path that was necessary to get you where you are today.

And then comes the gratitude.

And then. And only then. Can you begin to attract the right person for you.

Keep up the progress. It gets better my dudes.