I am wondering what options are available aside from lawyering up to come to a child support and custody agreement. Me and my STBXH agreed we would rather not get lawyers involved both for financial reasons and to keep things amicable.

I requested that he thinks of what would be fair in terms of custody and child support. His initial answer was "every other weekend to start" (we are two hours apart for context) and "we will figure it out as we go along" along with a request to me to make a budget of the kids expenses (basically throwing all the work/decision making back on me).

I'd like to come to an agreement that is fair to both of us but I don't necessarily trust my own judgement. I've gotten feedback within my personal life that I am both "letting him take the easy way out" by just wanting to agree with everything to get rid of him as well as "setting him up for failure" by expecting him to parent the kids on his own when he isn't used to it. Without going to court, he also wouldn't have the financial incentive to take the kids more than the bare minimum . I'm wondering what my options are regarding figuring this all out as quickly and cheaply as possible. I'm in California