Eight months ago he shattered me to pieces by asking for a divorce. I found out shortly afterwards that he had been cheating on me.

I'm trapped in this fucking house with him because if I leave it's considered abandonment, and I live out of my bedroom with only the cats for company. I try to get out. I have a weekly lunch with a good friend. My other close friend just moved two and a half hours away last week, so that social interaction is gone. My family is really supportive, but they're across the state and have their own lives to worry about. I know that they're stressing over my situation, I don't want to make it worse.

I feel so fucking alone, in this big empty house that used to hold all of my dreams and now it's just the place where my worst nightmare happened. This isn't my home anymore, I'm leaving as soon as he buys me out my portion of the house. I don't want to go out into the rest of the house where memories hit me in the face and I'm reminded that this isn't my home anymore.

My life is on pause right now. I'm not working at the moment for complicated reasons, and I really *want* to go back to work but I can't right now. I adore my cats (one of which he's keeping and the other two he's threatening to take away) but they're not people, they don't take away from the loneliness.

I fucking hate this. He's out doing god knows what and I'm alone. I'm fucking alone and I'm crying and I can't go out into the house or I'll be reminded that this was once my dream home and I was once so fucking happy to be here and I had a bright future and I was in love.

I hate that during the lowest point in my life he couldn't uphold his wedding vow, through sickness and in health, even though when it was his turn to be very sick I stuck by him and supported him and did everything I could for him. I hate that he cheated on me and let me down. I hate that I'm so fucking alone.

I hate that he did this to me. I fucking want OUT.

He's complicated matters by first hiring a horrible cheap attorney that delayed proceedings. Now because his attorney was shit he's getting a new one and that's more delays. I don't know how much longer I can do this.