I'm trying to spend as much time with our kids as possible while trying to emotionally distance myself from my wife (who wants the divorce). I feel like she's playing head games with me, telling me if I want to flirt with her I can and if I want to pull her in for a deep passionate kiss then I'm more than welcome to. Then proceed to tell me that it's just not the same anymore. I've been staying at her house for a couple of weeks now. Again, for the kids. But when we have day to day conversations it feels like we're still happily married. When I bring it up to her, she goes straight to how and why she still wants the divorce. So I'm riding this dang rollercoaster and can't get off. I still love her dearly and am still in love with her, even though she's a different person now.

I love that we can be civil for the kids sake and it's not constant arguing. But how do I move forward? When am I going to wake up and be able to comfortably call her my ex, soon to be ex, or whatever, instead of my amazing wife that I want to grow old with? How do I get over her enough to be able to pursue a healthy lifestyle that doesn't involve me trying to change her mind or dwelling on what used to be?