My wife and I have been separated since October or so, no legal actions, no abuse, no cheating by or on either of us. The whole reason we're in this mess is that I had some health problems last year that put me in a very deep depression, and it was basically swept under the rug for way too long. We had been talking about getting back together once I had overcome my issues.

Anyway, at the beginning of this year I made a hell of a turnaround. New job, and the ability (mental, financial, and physical) to accomplish my goals and become better than I was last year.

But apparently it's too little too late. We've had a couple of intimate moments that was part rekindling attempt, part "I need to get laid, you need to get laid, let's do this". I honestly thought things were on the mend and we'd be able to slowly fall back in love with each other. Until she hit me with "I'm sorry I just don't feel the way I did".

So now I'm crushed again. Not necessarily because of what she said. But after 11 years of marriage and 4 kids, I don't know anything else. Before my health problems my entire life was "work, family, sleep". I never took time for myself, never invested in hobbies, or outside friendships. And even now with my new job, I don't have time for any social stuff. My weekends are spent with the kids, and during the week I sleep all day to work at night.

So I feel like the only thing I can do is dwell on what used to be that can never be again. I can't find a way to look at the future in a positive light.