It’s interesting to note that the more I dissociate, the more I start seeing symptoms related to BPD/possibly OSDD.

A friend sent me message a few hours ago that stung me a bit. I felt kinda left out but it really shouldn’t have been that bad. The emotion has been raging on in the back of my head since then. I’m sort of chilling atm but do feel that sense of disconnection from the outside world and can’t connect to the raging emotion at all. It’s like it’s there and it damn hurts but it’s totally unreachable and i can’t affect it with any of my current thoughts. It doesn’t really compel me to take any sort of action either. A few months ago such raging, totally uncontrollable but externally invisible emotions made me strongly suspect that I might be developing quiet BPD or something… frankly speaking I’m still unsure how to cope with it. It’s just kinda funny that I’m starting to see the same symptoms reappearing even with just a slightly increased dissociation level.

Ngl, it does hurt like hell tho