What's up, good afternoon, good evening, how ya doin'?

Here's the deal:

I'm 36, white, 6'3", 350lbs, big guy but carry it well and my mom thinks I'm cool and handsome. I'm clean, disease & drug free outside of weed/420. I'm very chill and down to earth. My favorite things to do, when I have free time, is to catch a movie or show, check out a new spot to eat, or relax at home and get inventive in the kitchen. I'm a father of two, and I have them about 80% of the time. Clean divorce, no messy relationships or baggage. I work hard to provide for myself and my kids, and I also spend my free time earning certifications and working towards improving in my career.

What I'm looking for:

A good time. Truly. I have tried dating and I don't currently feel like I have the mental bandwidth or energy to give someone what they want and deserve, but damn, do I miss the physical connection & fun. I would like to find someone interested in NSA fun, while leaving the door open for a potential FWB if we click and the vibe is right.

About you:

I don't necessarily have a type. I have been attracted to women of all sizes, shapes & colors. Ideally someone who can hold a bit of a conversation. Sane, down to earth, and chill. 420 friendly is great. Someone with similar kinks & sex drive. Must be clean and disease free.

Kinks, fetishes, etc:

Heavy oral fetish, both giving & receiving. Love to eat ass, but have never received. Some BDSM, on the dominant side. Roleplay. Love dirty talk, and both praise & degradation depending on consent and the partner. Edging & orgasm control. Anal. Toys.

My hard stops are anything involving blood, feces, animals, or anything with a legitimate chance of danger.

I'm a very open & communicative person and hope you are as well. At the least, we can smoke out and have a good time and go our separate ways, or possibly find something that we each enjoy and continue having a good time for however long it works. If I had a Yelp review I think it would read something like, "Chris is great. Enjoyed the company & the weed. Great taste in music. Come for the orgasms, stay for the post-hookup snacks."

If this post piques your interest, hit me up! Let's see where it goes. Nothing to lose and a great way to distract oneself from the sense of ever impending dread and doom.