Let's think about this for a second. Warhammer 40k is dark. Really dark. We’re told so many times that there’s little to no value for the individual human being. For most people, this is thought fuel for endless flame wars of Imperium Bad or Imperium Good, but as a degenerate, my mind goes down a completely different path…Just how much sex people have to be having in the Imperium.

Hear me out, you cannot hold up imperial standards of casualties without insanely high amounts of fucking. That’s not where my brain stops though. There’s just so much huffing and puffing going on between the different races, what about the moaning and grunting? Let’s write out some of it! I’ve got a few prompts that I’d love to do, but please I’d love to hear any of your own!

Commissars. I’m confident enough in my masculinity to admit that there’s nothing hotter than a woman who’ll just literally fucking kill me. Plus that uniform…delish. Anyway, They’re here for Morale right? Here to keep Guardsmen fighting on the right side, the side of the God-Emperor. What happens when a regiment of Guardsman (with sexy female commissar of course) is forced to fight against a group of chaos cultists, who keep seducing guardsmen to run off in the night with them? The commissar shows them why Imperial Women are superior!

She goes from blowing the heads off cowards, to making them watch as their brave stalwart comrades blow her back out instead. They could have had a chance to fuck that sweet imperial pussy…if only they’d been more brave! This spreads across the planet, before most of the female commissars on the planet command fiercely loyal troops that are just as fierce with them after the battle! No more commissar fragging in the least, only commissar fucking.

What about Sisters of Battle then? The psychotic nuns with guns, bolter bitches, however else you’d want to call them. The cause of many a Guardsman’s fear boner. Yet think about their poor desires. They don’t spend much time with members of the opposite sex after all. That tends to set certain things aflame!

Imagine a poor priest, thrown as a spot fix replacement for the previous priest of the order after they died…only to find the cause of death was crushed hips! Now he has to rely on his faith in the Emperor to fight off the advances of a whole order of Sisters, before he goes the way of the last priest!

Or perhaps we could take it up a level! The Sisters of Battle are deployed amongst a group of guardsmen. The guardsmen hero worship them, but one finally works up the nerve to approach one of the sisters and ask if she’d like to split a spare ration pack sometime. His moans and groans of pleasure as she fucked him behind a rock were so loud that they nearly revealed their position to a couple of Ork Kommandos (Painted Purple of course!)! After that, pretty much every guardsman had himself a special Sister of Battle friend, many had multiple. Inside every tank, behind every rock, in every bed, there’s a guardsman and a sister having their fun. Gangbangs and reverse gangbangs galore, there’s probably more Guardsman than there are sisters after all!

The Higher-Ups love it! The loyalty of these Guardsmen is unquestionable, as the Sisters (while horny on levels that would stun the God-Emperor himself) are still faithful and wouldn’t tolerate a heretic inside of them. Better they cum inside of a Sister of Battle, than to chaos tainted posters or worse, T’au Porn. As such, they turn a blind eye as each Sister of Battle is fucked in every which way, be it by a single guardsman or as they’re passed around the barrack, their holes filled with the mixed cum of all those Guardsmen!

Speaking of Xenos though…

Imagine this. The T’au learn from an extremely horny Gue’vesa the reason that most humans join the greater good. Not for philosophy or anything banal like that. No, Humans join the Greater Good for a chance to sample that sweet T’au pussy! Any tool to proliferate the Greater Good must be used, so the Ethereals pass a new edict! While intercaste mating is still banned, interspecies mating is now allowed!

Imagine this. Tomboy Fire Caste T’au, wrestling a Gue’vesa to the ground before the two meet hips in the locker room after training. Soft Dommy Mommy Earth caste T’au, rewarding their Gue’vesa partner after a long night of work with the best tit fuck they’ve ever gotten. Pillow Princess ethereals who just want to give up control after a hard day mind controlling so many T’au to sacrifice their lives! Hard Dom Water Caste T’au that’ll take their little Gue’Vesa pet on walks, collared and all. And something something Air Caste T’au, I have no idea what they’d be like honestly.

What about the Eldar? Eldar of both sorts are supposed to have so much stronger emotions than Humans…what happens when that emotion is turned to lust? A farseer on a Rogue Traders ship ends up having a thing for his Militant after her life is saved by him! She can’t just go to his room, drop her pants and rut with him like humans can…she’s an Aeldari after all! Instead, she just holds her lust in, even as she dresses more and more skimpy, those smooth curves becoming more and more revealed for him to look at. The Filthy Mon-Keigh cannot keep his eyes to himself…perhaps if toyed with, he will be unable to keep his hands to himself as well. A plan worthy of Dicklord Supreme, Eldrad Ulthran himself!

Or perhaps Drukhari? I’ll admit I don’t have much here but succubi make the mind go crazy. Seriously, hot, dangerous, will wear someone's face as a bra…what’s not to love here?

What about Chaos? There’s so much we could d- [Redacted by Inquisition]

So if you’re interested in seeing just how many different levels of degeneracy we can enter, please drop me a dm. If you love the God-Emperor just a little more (Loving him any less is heresy!) than you love sucking Guardsman dick, please drop me a dm. If you’ve got any kinky ideas to write out in this grimdark universe…drop me a dm!