Questioning. It was the one thing I knew I was good at, it ranged from what I wanted to be when I grew up, to what I was going to do on any given day. Growing up you realize nobody has it figured out adults included, but that didn’t make me feel any better about how indecisive and lost I felt about myself. I’d spent the majority of my teenage years trying to figure out what I was, and yes that means sexually, that does in fact seem to be one of the defining characteristics of a person especially for a younger person.

I was entirely straight for a while, mainly because it was easy and I wouldn’t have to be looked at differently if it were true. After some time I was entirely gay and I knew I was a lesbian, the only problem being that I never actually did anything with another women not even a kiss so I couldn’t verify that feeling. One nice part of growing up like this is that you realize that sexuality is truly a spectrum and that you don’t have to be put into such a rigid category.

All this had been building up for me over the years, I’d never had much of a social life like you see on TV. I didn’t go to parties all the time, I wasn’t hanging out with large groups of people either, I had my close circle of friends and never had a reason to stray out of it. This group of friends was a safety net for me, they kept me happy on a large scale doing the norms friend things, keeping me from being lonely mainly. But one thing that they prevented me from doing is putting myself out their further, having these experiences that you are supposed to have including sexual experiences.

Junior year of college was over for the summer and while I was staying in the apartment I was leasing it would be the first time I’d be without my friends, they were all either traveling, going home, or working all the time. So for the first time in years I had to figure out what I was going to do, I didn’t want to be one of those people who spend all their time inside by themselves either.

The first day by myself was spent cleaning, running errands and getting my place in order. As I got back from a trip to the drug store I went to grab my mail, it was like a sign from a higher power, inside the stack of junk and a few bills was a flyer. “Pride” in big rainbow letter at the top and looking at the date it was scheduled for tomorrow. It was the start of June so Pride month was starting, I’d always been too scared to go myself, it meant I would have to answer questions from my friends on why I was going and then I’d have to tell them that I might be gay. I’m sure they would be supportive but I found it annoying and unnecessary. But with them gone I could go and it would be almost like I went as an anonymous person.

I spent most of the time leading up to the next morning excited to finally be doing something as a queer woman for the first time in my life. I had no idea what to wear, I didn’t have anything loud and boisterous, no rainbow spandex and no rainbow tutu, so I decided to just wear normal clothes with a rainbow pin that I had.

Some time passed and I was getting ready to leave, to say I was getting increasingly nervous would be an understatement. It was easy to plan going when I didn’t have to do it right away, but the thought of putting myself out there as someone who I was trying to act like didn’t exist was a huge step to say the least. I don’t think anybody knew I was gay, but after today, after going out and being in that, there would be people who knew. Probably some people I know too.

I tried to just shut out all the doubt, I wanted this to be a fun day and one that would launch me into a new part of my life. I left that day ready to find something but I had no idea what it was, I had no idea that it would be you. This was really just a spur of the moment decision, at no point did I think I could find someone as amazing as you, as confident, intelligent, beautiful, everything, as you. For the first time I opened myself up to a part of myself I had kept hidden, and for the first time I felt like I was truly living life.

So if you got to the end of that I feel like you deserve a medal or something!

This is my long winded way of saying I want to do a romance plot with my character being a semi-closeted person, she may not even be completely accepting of the fact that she is gay to herself.

99% likely I won’t ever write something this long again, this took me over 35 minutes of typing and as much as I love detail I also love conciseness and speed. When we are going I try to get a few paragraphs written every 10ish minutes so we can keep the prompt going but not get bogged down in writing a novel.

I should speak about myself since my character will probably be me just playing myself. I’m Sarah and I’m 20 almost 21, I am 5’3 so pretty short, I do go to the gym so I’m not like big big, but I am still a little curvy. I have brunette hair with blonde highlights, it does get more blonde in the summer time though.

This prompt is a little close to home, I start this out with the idea of questioning. I’ve spent many nights trying to figure out what I am, do I like guys, do I like girls, what does it all mean? It throws my head through loops and for a while it really got to me, but now I’m at a point where I don’t really care. I also find it a bit cathartic to play out some of the things that I am going through personally.

As for your character you could be someone in the same position as me, maybe you are the person who put the flyer into my mailbox trying to get me out there, or maybe you are just some super nice outgoing person who finds me standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do or where to go. (If I went to a pride festival that would totally be what I’d do!)