I don't know why it kept happening, but it did. I would break up with a girl and then swear off relationships for some time until I met someone that I really clicked with on many levels. I didn't need someone around to have a good time or feel complete.

But then a few months would pass. I would meet someone and we would hang out and it inevitably became a relationship, even if there were red flashing lights from the start, because either I was bored and lonely or I decided it was worth giving everyone a chance and to see if it would get better with time.

There was even a couple of hookups and one-night stands with girls I met online that I tried to make into more than they should have been. That was probably because of my strict Catholic upbringing. I am sure it screwed me up in ways I don't even fully understand yet.

Maybe I was needy, maybe I was shy, maybe I just liked having someone around, even if I should have been working on myself or noticing the glaring differences that were about to pop up between us.

Either way, this lasted until I was 40. I had gained confidence and fitness over the years and maybe something just snapped in my brain on my 40th birthday, but I decided enough was enough and it was time to break the cycle.

I ended another dead-end relationship, even though it lasted several years and produced a child, and I moved into an old, but large, apartment by myself. I had a good career, so money was not an issue. And I had been noticing women in their 20s starting to compliment me for my salt and pepper hair and being in shape over 40, and some even flirted a little past that point.

So I didn't fall back into the same old trap, I gave myself 2 years of being single to figure myself out and to be on solid footing before I decided it was time to jump back in.

But this time it was going to be different. This time I was going to explore my sexual kinks, fantasies and desires. I was going to go on lots of dates and not look for anything serious. I may even venture into trying out some taboo ideas I had always had and never got the chance to explore. The bottom line was, I was going to have fun and to hell with commitment or consequences. It's time to make up for lost time!

I signed up for some dating apps and some speed dating events, and I even made it a point to talk to some of the cute, available coworkers at my office and just see where it all went. You only live once after all!

(You can play one or a series of girls I encounter on my quest to enjoy myself and explore my sexual desires and fantasies. Let me know how you want to play this out!)

Kinks: age gaps, cheating, public/risky play, clothes play, foreplay, dirty talk, raw sex, creampies, breeding, spanking, hair pulling, thigh highs, short skirts, power dynamics