It took time to realize that I was more sub than dom. My first adventure into kink was domming a causal hookup with a generous degradation kink. I'm good at it, and it turns out that's in high demand.

I'm a switch, but actually the kinks that make me melt are as a submissive (humiliation, forced/premature ejaculation). Yeah, I get off on power, but getting put in my place perks my ears.

Eventually, I noticed that the woman I gravitate toward are mean girl types. The "bad" girl who has a vicious streak but isn't a total piece of work (although maybe she's done some questionable things). A woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind and neg you. When she makes a dig, you know there's truth there, and it makes me wriggle in my seat with anticipation.

To me, that personality is genuinely dominant. It isn't a role but a characteristic of that person, for whom I can flip things around on but never truly overtake.

I'm secure in myself: I'm fit, decent looking, have a good job, and take pride in what I create as a writer. I wasn't always this way. Puberty hit late, mental illness stunted my social development; I was short, skinny, awkward, and looked too young. Those deficits self-corrected with time, mostly. I'm still short but it doesn't really bother me. I'm confident, a little self-obsessed, but there is a hint of insecurity buried in the subconscious you can never entirely get away from.

For me it isn't toxic. Actually, it's fun.

It'd be nice to have a woman, a switch or a domme, who is into corralling a man like me. Into breaking me down-pressing all the buttons that make a cocky SOB feel timid and vulnerable. If you can get me to submit, I'll be smitten. Doing it while being a bit "bitchy" is even more alluring. I'm into switching, but it is also hot to imagine being dominated so hard, genuinely humiliated so well that I lose the ability to flip it in the other direction.

If you stuck with me through my whole post, shoot me a DM.