Be honest, you were expecting this post to have been written by a White guy, right? Well, get ready for a left turn, lol

I'm actually an Asian guy who, somehow, has never been with an Asian girl - and I'm looking for someone to help me change that.

Tbh, I don't know why I haven't. I'm not a weirdo neet incel or anything. I work out; I have a fairly successful career. I have a healthy body count and have been described as "a catch".

I guess it boils down to identity issues? I was adopted at birth by a non-asian family. I guess when I was younger, I tried to deny that side of myself. You ever watch Harold and Kumar? Remember when Harold rejects Cindy Kim because he doesn't want to be with an Asian? That was me, I guess. But, like I said, now I'm trying to change that.

Uh, but in, like, a horny way, lol

Maybe the scene could be set up as a first date? And somehow we get onto this topic, like:

"Really? You've never been on a date with an Asian girl before? I'm the first one?"

You look incredulous at me after I admit it: I'm an Asian guy who, somehow, has never been with an Asian girl.

We're at a bar, and I'm looking around a little nervously, not wanting to be overheard by the other patrons. How we got onto this topic on our very first date, I don't know. But we're here now.

You pick up on my brief anxiety and lean in closer.

"Want to change that?" You offer with a grin and a slight twinkle in your eye.

Of course, before we start . . . making changes, we have a conversation that builds up to the main event. We talk about Asian-American identity, fetishism, sexual dynamics, kinks, stereotypes, grievances. I want to know about your sexual past. Got anything to confess to me?

I mean, we all know the stereotypes, right? Well, maybe one way of getting rid of them is to just talk about them.

And once we have that out of the way . . .

You know that Steven Yeun/Ali Wong tv show Beef? There's scene in it where Ali Wong and Young Mazino go absolutely crazy on each other. (If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it) Anyway, I want to create that kind of sweaty, passionate Asian-on-Asian scene for myself. If that takes a long, winding build up for us to mentally prepare for the hot, sweaty release - than so be it, I'd look forward to it.

If you're going to be my first Asian, just know that I've got decades of repression boiled up inside that I cannot wait to unleash upon you. Ideally, you do as well and can reciprocate in kind.

Nails scratching on my back, beads of sweat collecting on our foreheads, fistfuls of hair grabbed, the lewd sound of flesh slapping against each other. Filling you up; stretching you out; reclaiming our identities by force. Yum.