Imagine spending lots of time writing out a short essay about yourself only to mess up the title and be unable to change it. Well that was me last week so wasn’t a great start! This week is different though as now you’re here :-)

So what’s this all about, well what you’re about to read is all about a journey, and what a journey it has been. Like any good journey should have, there should be a destination in mind. Unfortunately this journey is still being written and it’s time to take the next steps with you along side. Wait a minute, I sense you thinking, this isn’t a post about quick flings and instant gains. Well that’s because it isn’t. Settle down and let’s get into it.

The past few years have been a strange and tough place. See the Pandemic seemed to stir up a long forgotten desire in me, or more like a desire that I never knew I had and you’re about to find out a little more about that.

Let’s go back a good few years, to a young fresh faced version of me obsessed with escaping off into the woods and playing with myself.

This is where I can root things back to, the start of desire. It’s that first moment of desire that leads into a series of exploration and trying out new things that, whilst they were all very different, shared a theme of pushing boundaries and shifting from my natural preference of control. Over time there were many new areas to explore, websites to discover, and experiences to try.

University was an eye opener for me, a playground, and where I worked on expanding into new areas and activities. There are a few good stories to share on this but at least buy me a drink first :-p

After pushing my boundaries for some time I settled down and that felt like the end of it. Months and years went on and everything seemed very linear. Then all of a sudden there was a Pandemic and for me this created the perfect atmosphere to make this idea of exploring new things again particularly exciting and a release from the boredom that was staying inside. All of a sudden some of the previous thoughts and feelings came flooding back but in a different way, a more individual personal way and the desire to explore something new came along. And so, without anyone knowing, the journey continued… and you can see some of my past posts to get a flavour for how that evolved.

It started with exploring more of my feminine side and trying to understand more of those submissive feelings and acts. There is a lot of shame based language and direction but for me that’s not it. I’m also not looking for a change in lifestyle or who I am to the outside world. I’m just looking to enjoy something new and to try some new and enjoy all the fun and conversation that comes along with that.

So why post now then? What’s brought this on? Well for me the last few months has been the most rocky for me. What was kicked off through some personal changes lead me to withdraw from here and from the people who I had met and become close to. I pushed them away and with it pushed away the warm gentle hand that was helping to lead the way and understand myself on here. That felt like the next pause on here, like I had done before, and I thought that was it for a while…

However, recently that drive has come back, that urge to explore and to do it along with someone. It comes in waves, sometimes the moment takes hold of me and I get carried away in my thoughts, I lack the confidence to see things through and so find myself reaching out to talk with someone about it but seem to need quite a lot of input so get a little lost. So I find myself looking to see if someone is in a similar position and looking for something a little different but also not now have plucked up the courage to post. Now you’re reading my little slice of the internet so let’s see where it goes from here. When you do message me share your favourite space ship. I’m not sure if it’s the same as before but some people never used to read messages and that wasn’t always a great start.

What else is important to know about me for now? Well as you can probably tell I’m pretty uncertain about myself, and that leads to a lack of confidence in some areas and too much in others. I also don’t really know what I want or am looking for, which I know isn’t a great help but there we go. I can’t always be on here because I have to balance a demanding work life, home life including a gf who isn’t aware of this side of me, and a personal life that seems never to stop or slow down. I know that I can be quite needy and go through waves of intensity. That passion can be a real exiting driver but it can also be quite intense, so be prepared for that. Wait this all seems so negative so where is the good stuff?

Well I’m adventurous and loyal, I’m also happy to share more with you than just the fun we’re having, to hear about your day and needs and to be here as an ear to listen. Not much frightens me when it comes to exploration although sometimes my confidence will make it seem like I’m able to do more than I actually can when it comes round to it, so your patience will be a virtue.

I’m into space, science, those strange theories you have but don’t feel you can share, video gaming, cars and formula one, and lots more but you will need to ask to find out.

So that’s me, now tell me about you and let’s take some steps together. When you message if you can use the DM/Messages side it would be great as Reddit chat is a bit clunky on my phone and I always end up sending messages too early by accidentally hitting enter :-p lol. Also no guys please.

Jess xx