Frantically fapping upon myself, until I heard a tapping upon the shelf.

Silently snapping I moaned out loud, "is anyone theeeere" I said horny and proud.

Queefed the fleshlight, nevermore.

Fiend! I cried. Thing of evil! I fapth with heart and joy and Jesus by my side.

Queefed the fleshlight, nevermore.

Not so I said, my heart lifted up in pride. I fap to big titty goth girls and thick thighed brides, beautiful bountious midnight bitches waiting on me to bone them, I said, growing just a tad snide.

Peering in through my window, the stranger glimpsed an orange icon, flickering upon my laptop screen amidst a sheen of semen I dispatched while in a dream.

Queefed the fleshlight, nevermore.

Shut up! silence you whore! Upon pornhub, and anime, and manga I swore. Up and down through the night, at my waifu pillowcases I tore. Reddit and liveleak, and countless more!

Queefed the fleshlight, nevermore.

I have fapped long and hard to music and tv, even BTS. I could fap for days at hobos farting and coughing up McDonald's mess, I've came bigger shots and frankly for less.

Queefed the fleshlight, nevermore.

Forget this mess, I'll go outside, said I, putting the flesh mouth aside. It's clearer than my sperm inside you resides. You've no respect for thick anime thighs, nor outrage and blunder or lame neckbeards' political thunder.

Said I: I'm stupid and I like talking about nerdy shit without understanding corporate decisions and money.

Queefed the fleshlight, nevermore.

Edit my comments will you?! I'll sunder you to your core, no more will I buy you ostentatious rewards. Whilst before I was boisterously fapping to gapping, now upon the blue downvote I will be tapping!

Queefed the fleshlight: "good, more advertising revnue for me you dumb whore.

-spez"