Hiya all, hope you've had a great Christmas so far!!!
I'm sure theres a joke about Santa's sack getting emptied etc, but its early, and I'm barely a coffee into today!!!
I detest talking about me so lets get it out of the way!
I'm around 5'8, quite well built and broad thanks to a very physical job (Thats not "code" for being morbidly obese by the way.........I dont have a six pack.......but I dont have a belly hanging over my belt either!!! LOL).
A few tatto's, shaved head (I always had crap hair!), not horrific to look at, with a bit of a smart ass, banter loving sense of humour.
Equipment wise, 7 inches, girthy, with quite a nice big tip (always seems to get commented on lol).
Another comment is how "iron hard" I get ;)
No bizarre kinks such as nappy's, beating the crap out of each other with rubber chickens or blowing chicken tikka masala up each others arses!!!
I'm a bit of a "Retrosexual".
I just like a good old fashioned, hot, passionate, deep fuck!
I will say, I also ADORE all the trimmings, its been far, FAR too long since I buried my head between a womans legs and made her my "pillow princess" for an hour or so!
As it says on my profile, I'm self employed, so I guess having fun with the whole "Naughty customer/naughty tradesman" type thing would be hot.......as despite being in biz for well over a decade, I have NEVER had an "encounter" with a customer!
I must be doing something wrong! lol
About you!
I'm not arrogant enough to have some huge wishlist, but theres gotta be a spark, right? Even for fun, theres gotta be a little something, so mutual attraction is important.
A naughty smile will make my knees go weak (stockings and suspenders will reduce them to jelly, whereas pre-mentioned parts will become "iron hard!").
A cheeky sense of humour would be a big help..........mainly coz it'll help you get my crap dad-jokes!
It would be great to meet someone who, if we decide to meet, could make a nice, relaxed night of fun, no rush, just a lot of snacks, cozyness in a kingsize bed, and plenty of orgasms!
Someone who enjoys slow build up, and is as keen to please as I am (prepare to spend an awful lot of time with my head between your legs, its been far too long........)
Oral! Yes please! What bloke doesnt enjoy receiving?
No anal! I know this would seem to make me slightly "odd" in this day and age, but I never have and never will slip it in the back door...........I have zero interest! WHY? When the ACTUAL place for it is right next door!?!?!
Sensitive nipples is a plus, as one of my fav ways to fuck is missionary, nice firm, deep strokes while sucking juicy nipples (swapping between nipples and snogging your face off would probably be more accurate!).
Shaved or trimmed is preferred, simply to avoid my nose being tickled too much! Sneezing at the dinner table is just SO rude!!!
Ideally, a regular naughty friend would be preferred, I'm not planning on plowing my way through reddit, just looking for a little horny fun and company now and then.
I have ZERO interest in escorts, content sellers or timewasters, this is a genuine (and slightly boring, waffly) post, so dm if youre real!!!
Low Karma accounts, please dont expect a reply from a simple "Hi"................I wanna know a little bit about you, after all, plenty on my profile.
If we get chatting, at some point i'll want a verification pic (non-facial), happy to return the favour.
Right, this is about 5 times longer than intended, if youre still reading, well done..........drop me a line, youre clearly HOOKED! LOL