I made a post a few days ago where I was very honest and very blunt..

My post is almost not even "dirty" except that I'm looking for a dominant woman.. I'm really not looking for anything sexual.. almost "/r/momforaminute" type.. but not for just a minute.. I don't expect a goddess.. I'm not going to ask for pictures of your toes.. I just.. I have issues.. and I need help (outside of this post).. and I'm trying to get that help (with some aide from potential responders of this post), but I'm struggling so much due to my issues. In my 39 years, I've never, ever, been good at doing anything to advance myself that wasn't just "given" or required by someone else.. that's definitely a therapy topic.. and I don't expect anyone responding to be my therapist.. but I'm so far broken that finding therapy has been a struggle due to these issues..

Maybe this is still the wrong place to post.. I'm sorry. I genuinely want to be better so I can find a primary partner.. I've been trying for over a year now to find discipline and accountability.. but the idea of doing it "for me" is debilitating. That's the recursive problem I've faced.. I should be healthy and independent to find a partner.. but I'm so dysfunctional I can't even commit to and find a therapist to help me not be so dysfunctional... I can't even fix the things I know I need to and have power over without a therapist telling me due to just not caring about myself.. again, a therapist discussion.. but maybe you see the circular problem I've struggled with.. I don't know how to break this pattern on my own.. I struggled with the idea of talking to a therapist who may or may not be "kink" friendly.. like.. there's so many variables..

I'm not asking anyone to bear my cross.. I just.. need someone to "kick my ass" in a way to help me get to where I can bear my own cross(es)...