I'm submissive. I'm very naturally submissive.. but I'm not a switch.. and my submissive nature is, realistically, locked behind the approach of an individual. I'm not mentally healthy. I've.. got issues that I'm working through.. I'm complicated. I'm mentally capable. I'm mentally competent enough that I drink myself to the point of not being so.. because I'm just also a wreck. I can be extroverted to the point that no one knows remotely ANYTHING about me.. "anything" as in that I'm a submissive or mentally broken.. No one that met me in person would know.. and I don't want to meet someone that I'd need to hide that from.. at least, that's not what I'm looking for, here.. but I could be left in a crowd of people and "get along" to the point that I'm a chameleon that no one would see that there's anything wrong..
I need help.. I have goals.. I want to be better.. but I struggle to do anything for myself.. so I'm.. looking for help..
So.. I'm not looking for sex.. unless you're in the NOVA area and want to train me vaginal taste/texture.. but as important as that may be for a real human connection later.. I.. I need help just being me, first.. and "me" is lost behind a world of dysfuction.. I've looked for professional help, and I'll keep trying.. but even a professional can't necessarily take the "reigns" in the sense that I need..
Admittedly.. downvote this post.. because maybe I just pointed out that I shouldn't be looking.. I don't know.. I'm just.. this is some of the shit going through my head.. and I'm.. looking for a connection.. I'm sorry..
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