Yes indeed, we're having an affair, We don't say this so you stop, so you stare, Or indeed shoot a glare quite furious.

We're looking for a woman who's a breath of fresh air, To come, to join and add to our pair, So it'd help if you're at least bi-curious.

So have sense of humour, a chat with some flair, An openness to pictures, to receive and to share, Your personality should be owt but beige.

Of turn ons we have plenty, As long as you're at least 8 and 20 (28), Turn offs include piss, degradation, play of age.

About us:

V is 5'8, curvy, white, from the West Mids, physically she has a lovely arse, "enhanced" but natural looking boobs, shaved smooth and an awesome smile.

Interests include: documentaries, spirituality, tarot, Wicca, crystals, formula one, indie/rock music and more..

M is 6'3, white, stubble and dark hair and also shaved smooth, physically he has a dad bod.

Interests include: films, rock/metal music, documentaries, reading, gaming, Motorsport and more...

What we're looking for:

If it wasn't obvious, we're not looking for a one time thing, our ideal situation is an ongoing FWB style thing where we have a connection, friendship and mutual attraction between the three of us. We both find curvy women attractive (in the realms of size 14-18) and V is almost as obsessed with boobs as I am. Ideally because of our situation you would also be attached/married etc. or at least very discreet, reasonably "local" and age wise, please be 28

Initially we use Reddit chat but then we like to move to 👻, that allows us to chat as a group, swap verification pics, gauge mutual attraction and just generally get to know each other (we have used other chat apps in the past, we didn't like them thanks to bad experiences and won't go back to them)

We're not interested in men, couples (unless the woman plays alone and we can chat directly with her), non-UK residents (as much as international interest is nice, we want something which can be physical in future) and women under 26 (we're sure you are attractive and mature for your age etc. but we don't want somebody too young).

When messaging please introduce yourself with a quick intro and include the name of your favourite animal (bonus points for creative and random choices - V loves Red Pandas, M is a fan of a Quokka)