The dirty stuff:

I'm going to use you the way you need to be used. You're going to be a very, very good girl for me. When I tell you what to do, you will say, "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Daddy." I'm going to spank you when I'm in the mood. You're going to spend a lot of time with my cock in your mouth. Your love language will be Acts of Service. Or maybe Taking What You're Given. Or just Submission.

You will revel in my praise and affections, unless humiliation is what you need. Maybe you need both. You will cum for me. I'm going to enjoy making you squirm. I always take very good care of my sub.

Someone once said to me, "The sub trusts her Dom with her physical safety and the Dom trusts his sub with his unseemly desires." It's a gross oversimplification but I do love the sentiment. You should want to know my unseemly desires. I need to know yours.

If your little pussy likes the sound of all this then be a good girl and say hi.

A little about me:

• I have a good job designing software for a giant, evil health insurance company. I work from home in Center City, Philly.
• I’m an indie rocker and generally creative. I write songs and letters that don’t suck. Slowly working on an album. When we match up, I’ll send links to my music if you’re interested. I like hanging out with other creative types.
• I love the water. I try to get to into the rec center pool every day. It's so good for the soul to be in the water, under the sky. I haven't been to the beach in far too long. Let's go!
• I’m a great cuddler. The best, actually. I should probably compete professionally…
• Philly is my default city. Over the past 20 years, I’ve lived in Philly, NYC, Upstate NY, DC, Czech Republic, Israel, Houston… I was a consultant, so I moved around a lot. That said, part of me dreams of escaping the city to someplace with water, trees, and parking. Let’s fantasize about our dream house. That’s always fun…
• Attraction is important. I'm reasonably fit and I'm told I have a good face. You can decide for yourself. I’ll send pics once you reach out. I’ll expect the same.
• Vaxed, boosted, and regularly STI tested.
• I'm open to a long-term relationship if we hit it off. I'd love to find my person but we have to start somewhere.

About you:

• You are sexy but not trashy. Comfy clothes are way sexier than a teddy. You are feminine but not high-maintenance girly.

• You are empathetic and emotionally intelligent. You are kind and a giver. you love to please.

• You love to surrender yourself to me. Submission makes you wet and helps you turn your brain off. Your obedience makes my cock hard.

• Smart is sexy. Clever is irresistible. I often want to say that I’m clever but then I’m reminded of the following quote:

“Years ago, in my earliest and pastiest days as a would-be writer, I once read a new story aloud to S. and Boo Boo. When I was finished, Boo Boo said flatly (but looking over at Seymour) that the story was “too clever.” S. shook his head, beaming away at me, and said cleverness was my permanent affliction, my wooden leg, and that it was in the worst possible taste to draw the group’s attention to it. As one limping man to another, old Zooey, let’s be courteous and kind to each other.”

Here are some things I like:

• Movies: Wings of Desire, The Jerk, Secretary, Reuben & Ed, Sid & Nancy, Bill & Ted, Harold & Maude, Blade Runner, Annie Hall, Rear Window, Zombieland, Better Off Dead, Scott Pilgrim, Shaun of the Dead, Spinal Tap!, Pootie Tang, Can’t Hardly Wait.

• TV: Bob’s Burgers, Always Sunny, Game of Thrones, Dexter, Community, Troy and Abed in the Morning, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly (pretty much anything sci-fi), Sherlock, MST3k, I Think You Should Leave, Fleabag, Broad City, Baby Billy’s Bible Bonkers, What We Do In The Shadows.

• Books: (Lots of the classics) Salinger, Kundera, Confederacy of Dunces, To Kill a Mockingbird (Fun fact: this was written by Bruce Lee’s sister, Harper.), Day by Day Armageddon.

• Movies: Wings of Desire, The Jerk, Secretary, Reuben & Ed, Sid & Nancy, Bill & Ted, Harold & Maude, Blade Runner, Annie Hall, Rear Window, Zombieland, Better Off Dead, Scott Pilgrim, Shaun of the Dead, Spinal Tap!, Pootie Tang, Can’t Hardly Wait.
• TV: Bob’s Burgers, Always Sunny, Game of Thrones, Dexter, Community, Troy and Abed in the Morning, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly (pretty much anything sci-fi), Sherlock, MST3k, I Think You Should Leave, Fleabag, Broad City, Baby Billy’s Bible Bonkers, What We Do In The Shadows.
• Books: (Lots of the classics) Salinger, Kundera, Confederacy of Dunces, To Kill a Mockingbird (Fun fact: this was written by Bruce Lee’s sister, Harper.), Day by Day Armageddon.
• Some songs I like:
  • Archers of Loaf - Web In Front
  • Frightened Rabbit - I Wish I Was Sober
  • Wet Leg - Wet Dream
  • Phoebe Bridgers - Scott Street
  • Velocity Girl - Sorry Again
  • Elliot Smith - Say Yes (remind me to tell you my Elliot Smith story)
  • Pixies - Wave of Mutiliation (I need a date for Black Francis' wedding)
  • The Cure - Why Can't I Be You?

Ok, I'm a dumbass. I should have just made you a spotify playlist and linked to that. I'll do that for your next mixtape...

I don't usually cite favorites, though. It can feel like a kindergarten activity. "So what's your favorite color, little Billy?"

Looking forward to hearing from you…