Hello Darling,

I feel like before truly unpacking what you've read in the title, I'd tell you a little bit about myself. Mainly just so you have an idea of who I actually am, because it's safe to say, that I'm not exactly your average damsel in distress, and thus not quite everybody's cup of submissive.

It's very nice to meet you, my name is Matilde, although don't worry I'll listen to whore, slut and all the other similar more or less derogatory nicknames as well. I'm 38 years old, I was always very independent, loving sports, and hunting, sailing from a young age. In my ultimate wisdom I've decided to forgo collage in favour a quick 20 year detour in the armed forces. Where I did a lot of cool shit along my way from jumping out of aircraft to flying them. All that is to say that I'm a rather tall, strong, and capable woman...

But...

You see, I was always very determined that as a woman my sexuality is a part of who I am. Instead of hiding it or trying to get rid of it, I should embrace it and learn to enjoy that it will always be an added layer on everything I do. I never subscribed to the idea that you can't be sexy and capable or sexy and serious at the same time.

To put that idea into a digestible example: Just because people will look at my body when I cross the marathon's finish line in my little running shorts and sports bra, that doesn't mean that they somehow think less of the achievement itself.

Now, while I embraced that governing principle throughout my life - a very fun life :D - only recently, after retiring from the military did I have the time and freedom to really dig deeper and start not only embracing my sexuality, but actively living through it. And this is where we circle back to submission, sexual misogyny, and just in general why I'm sitting in front of my computer completely naked writing a highly suggestive reddit post while slowly dripping onto that towel I'm forced to sit on by my own desperately denied body.

Sexual misogyny is the term I made up to describe my way of submission. Because you see, I'll never be a stay-at-home sub who just rolls over and does what her Dominant wants. I'm still highly opinionated, independent and for the lack of a better term spicy/cheeky.

But...

When it comes to my sexuality and all the sexy stuff about me, that's all Yours - well my partner's - but for the sake of the explanation let's just insert You into that position. My body, my orgasms, my pain... Everything sexual about me is under your control.

You see, if I love someone, I want to make that person happy, and the best way I know how to do that is to endure for them, let them have fun with me or release some frustration on me. If I have a partner then of course all these decisions regarding how much pain I have to take, or whether I get to orgasm or not and so much more is utterly up to my partner. However, I'm currently a very single woman. Which might suggest that I don't all this shit.

But...

Over the years I grew to see my ability to endure all kinds of pleasantly torturous activity as a part of my own self-value. Just like my physical strength is. They're something I'm very proud of. And thus just like m physical strength it requires constant training to build up and maintain. Which means that even when I'm single and not taking part of in any dedicated events or parties, I still keep myself to a rather strict ruleset, at least while I'm home.

• One such rule is the distinct lack of clothing while at home, which is exactly why I'm writing this post while sitting naked in front of my computer.
• Another such rule is to stay in complete denial, with regular edging and teasing of course to ensure a rather mind-melding desperation. After all, without a partner there's no one to enjoy my orgasms or indeed give permission to one, so it's best practice to just keep myself denied. Which is why I'm rather wet and drippy this morning and require a towel to sit on for the time being. At least until I managed to calm down at least a little bit.
• The sexual pain tolerance is the hardest thing to maintain on my own, I do require myself to put on heavy-duty nipple and clit/labia clamps quite often. But it's not exactly the same as getting through a good whipping session... So there's that.

Now, of course there are a couple more less relevant rules/guidelines for myself. But they're not all that relevant to our initial conversation.

All that's left to say is just to make sure that you know that all I'm looking for is online conversation partners, sure said conversations can be very spicy, but I'm only looking for guys to chat and hang out with when I have some time for myself. After all it's a much more sex to be naked and dripping while talking to a dude rather than just watching the new season of Arcane! :D

Thank you for your time and looking forward to reading your messages!

By that time probably with clamps on as well :D