Sex really intimidates me. It's always intimidated me to a degree, but the older I get the worse my lack of experience makes it. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to sex, and on top of that am not generally very assertive. So when women open conversations with "what would you do to me" or "if I was naked in front of you right now what would you do" I really can't think of anything except freezing up in abject terror.

Some have suggested hookers, but I have several objections. One, I need a situation where I feel comfortable, safe, and looked-after, which that really wouldn't be. Two, it would feel like giving up, and I'd hate myself afterwards. Three, the most important thing to me when it comes to sex is women's sexual pleasure, and knowing it's her job to "enjoy" it would take away from that.

The importance of women's sexual pleasure to me also exacerbates the intimidation, because I feel a pressure to do well, not just to stick it in and get myself off. Also I guess that's the reason I really like...sluts, basically? Women who enjoy sex, and are open and happy about obtaining it and know what they want and how to get it and such. Not in the negative degrading kind of way, I just love sexual confidence and openness. Assertiveness is also key, because again I have no idea what I'm doing and that leads to a lot of freezing up and such and I need someone who'll push me bit by bit out of my sexual comfort zone while also not being threatening and abusive about it...like, some people on here have suggested I need a dominant woman but those always seem to just want to push boundaries in a bad way and just be cruel or whatever and that's definitely not the vibe I'm after.

I fell madly in love with a friend of mine a few years back and a large part of it was her ability to figure out when to be reassuring and comforting, when to push me a little, and how much to push me. And also she got super motherly and caring whenever I was unwell and the idea of being looked after and comforted and such does really appeal to me. I stumbled across some "flirty mom's friend/friend's mom" stuff on YouTube and I love that vibe. I also met a woman taller than me recently and the thought of cuddling up to her, borrowing her too-big-for-me hoodies...ugh.

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