I need to get something off my chest that feels super complicated and... honestly, pretty messed up. I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend, and I love him, but there’s this dark side to me that I can’t shake. Lately, I’ve been feeling this intense urge to cheat on him. It’s not about him or our relationship—he’s amazing and everything I want in a partner—but there’s this desire to be wanted by someone else, to feel that thrill of the forbidden. And I hate myself for it. I know it’s wrong, and I’d never actually go through with it because I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t help how this feeling takes over me sometimes. The thought of being desired by someone else—sneaking around, playing that game—it really turns me on. But then I feel guilty as hell afterward because all I want is to be loyal to him. It’s such a messed-up cycle, and I don’t know what to do with these feelings. Anyone else ever feel this way? How do I stop feeling so conflicted and guilty